Friday, June 29, 2012

Self-portrait

So I've been doing a bit of sketching lately, trying to sketch the foxes beside our house. On Friday, I visited the National Portrait Gallery with a friend, and there was an exibit on self-portraits. Lots of them were naked, and I wondered how one could be so vulnerable that they would paint themselves naked and then show other people. I decided that I would try making a self-portrait (not naked, so don't panic!) as a way of trying to see myself in a different light. Trying to see myself as other people may see me, rather than through the filter of self-doubt and injury and criticism that I use to view myself.

Here is my first attempt.




It looks quite pretty. Now I can't tell if I'm prettier than I think I am, or if I actually have a healthier self-esteem than I admit to. Why else would you draw yourself pretty if you didn't actually think you were - is it because deep down I do think I am pretty, or because I was just faithfully drawing what I saw in the mirror?

The next task is to buy a mirror bigger than 15cms in diameter to make the task easier.
(Interestingly, because it's a mirror, it is a mirror image of me. It is what I see of myself when I look in the mirror. My husband finds the picture odd, because it's not what he sees when he looks at me - I've been reversed! Maybe my next sketch should be based on a picture so that I can see what I really look like!)